Sermon
The Importance Of Love In His Family
Romans 12:9-10
June 12, 2005
Pastor Donald Sheley

If you're using your personal Bible we are in Romans chapter 12, and if you're using the pew Bible, it's page 600. And I trust that you'll join with us because we are going to be reading a great number of scriptures today from our Bible.

It's nice to see you all in God's house on this beautiful summer Sunday. We have chosen as our theme 'Behaving like a Christian'. Last year in the summertime we went through many of the great characters of the Old Testament and we learned a lot about them and a lot from them. When we arrived at Christmastime our hearts became attracted to Christ and so we spent 15 weeks on Christology or studying the person and the work of Christ. And now we come to a very practical part of our Christian faith and that is how we live out our faith in our world.

And for many years I have read this 12th chapter of Romans and I thought to myself this chapter would make a marvelous series of sermons, and when we read it all the way through you'll notice that it is just packed with admonitions as to how we are to live as Christians, and so this is where our study takes place.

And I'll begin reading at verse 1: "I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith. For as we have many members in one body, but all the members do not have the same function, so we, being many, are one body in Christ, and individually members of one another. Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, let us prophesy in proportion to our faith; or ministry, let us use it in our ministering; he who teaches, in teaching; he who exhorts, in exhortation; he who gives, with liberality; he who leads, with diligence; he who shows mercy, with cheerfulness. Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good."

Now in our series thus far we started at verse 1...Paul calls us to a commitment of our lives of Jesus Christ and he says that commitment is the giving of ourselves to be lived, our lives and our time and our energies, to be lived as a living sacrifice to God, holy and acceptable. And then in verse 2 he said no longer allow the world to pour you into its mold, no longer allow it to set your value systems, but be not conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. And he is saying that as we become Christians we've been given the mind of Christ and a love for God's Word, and as we read God's Word we'll begin to think differently than we thought as a sinner. We're going to be thinking as a Christian. We've got the mind of Christ, and so he says be transformed by the renewing of your mind that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

Then he comes to verse 3. Now each of course these were sermons in the past few weeks, but in verse 3 he says now think of yourself soberly, in a sense, don't think too highly, but don't think too lowly of yourself. We are created in the image of God and He has given us gifts, He has brought us into His family, and therefore he says think soberly and then assess that which God has given to you and then use those gifts, use your talents in the body of Christ. Thus, we are different, but He has given to each one of us a measure of faith.

Then in verses 4 through 8, Paul moves immediately to that divine connection that takes place. Once we become a Christian we become a part of the family of God, the Church of Jesus Christ, the body of Christ; and so what he discusses in verses 4 through 8 is the matter of how we conduct ourselves with the gifts that God has given to us within the body of believers, and we went over those various gifts last Lord's Day.

Now he turns his attention to us individually as people, as persons in the family, and his first instructions are these: Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil and cling to what is good. I found another translation that reads that love be sincere, strive to avoid what is injurious to others and earnestly endeavor to do whatever is kind and useful. Those are our thoughts for today: love working itself out in our relationships within the body of Christ.

It's interesting that Paul brings this subject up following his discussion with regards to gifts within the church. If we went to the Corinthian passage in 1 Corinthians 12, Paul discusses the various gifts that are operative within the body of believers then he immediately moves to the subject of love. And I believe that so because Paul realizes that all of these gifts, the functioning together within the body of Christ, if it is not done in the context of love it really has little to no value at all. In fact, it has no value. Love is so important.

Now it's interesting we don't find a definition of love, but we'll find various scriptures throughout the Bible that will tell us what love is and what it isn't, and how it reacts and how it doesn't react, and thus I think it's good for us simply to take our Bible and let the Bible explain what love is. So go with me first of all to 1 Corinthians chapter 13. Paul is going to tell us what love is and what it isn't.

He begins with these words: "Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.

When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known. And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love."

Now there's another portion of our Bible where the subject of love is discussed over and over again, and I'd like for you to go to the epistle of 1 John, and it's page 642 in your red Bible there in the pew. I'd like for all of you to have a Bible in your hand because we're going to read a number of verses. This seems to be a subject so heavy upon the heart of John, and he'll tell us why.

Look at how he starts his letter: "That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked upon, and our hands have handled, concerning the Word of life--the life was manifested, and we have seen, and bear witness, and declare to you that eternal life which was with the Father and was manifested to us--that which we have seen and heard we declare to you, that you also may have fellowship with us; and truly our fellowship is with the Father and with His Son Jesus Christ. And these things we write to you that your joy may be full."

John tells us the authority that he has and what he's going to write. He said, I've seen Him; I've touched Him; I know He's for real. Now look at verse 5: "This is the message which we have heard from Him..." So what John is going to write to us is what was heavy upon the heart of Jesus, and you'll notice it's the subject of love.

Come with me to chapter 2 verse 4 as we go through this little letter. "He who says, "I know Him," and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him. But whoever keeps His word, truly the love of God is perfected in him. By this we know that we are in Him. He who says he abides in Him ought himself also to walk just as He walked."

What's he saying? If we really love God, really love God, we're going to follow His commandments. Look at verse 9: "He who says he is in the light, and hates his brother, is in darkness until now. He who loves his brother abides in the light, and there is no cause for stumbling in him. But he who hates his brother is in darkness and walks in darkness, and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes."

Look at verse 15: "Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world--the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life--is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever."

Go with me to chapter 3. "Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God! Therefore the world does not know us, because it did not know Him. Beloved, now we are children of God; and it has not yet been revealed what we shall be, but we know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is."

Verse 10: "In this the children of God and the children of the devil are manifest: Whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is he who does not love his brother. For this is the message that you heard from the beginning, that we should love one another..."

Verse 14: "We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love the brethren. He who does not love his brother abides in death. Whoever hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him. By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. But whoever has this world's goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him? My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth. And by this we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before Him."

Chapter 4 verse 7, boy he doesn't let go of this subject does he? "Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God, for God is love. In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

No one has seen God at any time. If we love one another, God abides in us, and His love has been perfected in us. By this we know that we abide in Him, and He in us, because He has given us of His Spirit."

Look at verse 16: "And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him. Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness in the day of judgment; because as He is, so are we in this world. There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. We love Him because He first loved us.

If someone says, "I love God," and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen? And this commandment we have from Him: that he who loves God must (must-must) love his brother also. Whoever believes that Jesus is the Christ is born of God, and everyone who loves Him who begot also loves him who is begotten of Him. By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and keep His commandments. For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments."

Now I'll tell you, when you read that brief letter through and you find over and over again the subject is love and he says he who hates is a liar, and the last page in my Bible says and all liars shall go to hell, this is a very serious matter. So I ask the question, What does it mean to hate?

Go with me to page 7 in our notes, and I have jotted down some thoughts about this whole matter of what it means to hate my brother. At the bottom of page 6 I ask the question, How do we regard our brother? How is it...What's considered hatred? You have your definition, and we could add an awful lot of definitions to hatred, but let me take it from another point of view.

Hatred could be evidenced in the act of negligence. We may regard our brother as negligible. I'm at the top of the page 7. We can make all our plans without taking him into our calculations at all. We can live on the assumption that his need and his sorrow and his welfare and his salvation have nothing to do with me. A man may be so self-centered--often quite unconsciously--that in his world no one matters except himself.

Now you say, well that's just simply neglecting people. No, no, it's hatred. God has placed us where we are and people surround us and give to us the opportunity to share in other's sorrows and include them in our concerns and add them to our list of activities, and if we just simply brush them aside and live a self-centered life, that's hating our brothers. You say I never thought of it that way.

Well let's take the second one. We may regard our brother man with contempt. We may treat him as a fool in comparison with our intellectual attainment and as one whose opinions are to be brushed aside. We may regard him much as the Greeks regarded slaves, a necessary lesser breed.

You know, sometimes we achieve certain accomplishments in life, educationally, economically, and oft times it does something tragic to us. It makes us to think ourselves more important than others and we treat others with contempt, because our achievements, our attainments, have outranked theirs. And oft times it has an effect where we treat them with contempt. That's hatred-that's hatred.

In God's eyes we are all very important no matter how many degrees dangle at the tail end of our name. It doesn't make any difference, and no matter how many dollars we've got in our bank, before God, we are all very important.

Thirdly, look at: We may regard our brother man as a nuisance. We may feel that law and convention have given him a certain claim on us, but that claim is nothing more than an unfortunate necessity. Thus a man may regard any gift he has to make to charity and any tax he has to pay for social welfare as simply regrettable. Some in their heart of hearts regard those who are in poverty or in sickness and those who are under-privileged as a mere nuisance.

Boy, you could take that one and stretch it a long ways folks. Those in our world who with a little bit of our attention and a little bit of our love and a little bit of our concern, but we just consider them a nuisance. That's hatred.

Look at the next one. We may regard our brother man as an enemy. If we regard competition as the principle of life, that is bound to be so. Every other man in the same profession or trade is a potential competitor and, therefore, a potential enemy. And this one we have to guard very, very closely. We that are in trades, we that are in professions, we may think others to be our competitors and we are going to down them; we are going to degrade them in order to lift ourselves up.

I had a situation just the other day when I listened to one who is in equal professions and unkind words were being said, and I stopped the conversation and said, that's ungodly. That's not Christian. We are brothers in Christ. Thus, it's an act of hatred to devalue and diminish another brother, another sister, in the body of Christ. And Paul gets very, very straight, he says, if you hate your brother you're a liar if you call yourself a Christian; and like I reminded you, all liars go to hell. That's serious, isn't it? So this whole issue of love is extremely important.

Now we went through 1 Corinthians 13, and I'd like for you to turn back in your notes to page 3, page 3 and 4, because I've taken that passage and broken it apart and there are 15 distinctive characteristics of how love is fleshed out, fleshed out in our lives and in our actions.

Page 3 in our notes. First of all Paul says that love is patient. Drummond says that this is "the normal attitude of love." This is because people are difficult, exasperating, and slow, and love understands this and so waits patiently. It knows that God is patient and that He has been wonderfully patient with us. And thus, Christian love is premised upon the fact that God has been patient with us. Over and over again we have come to Him with the same sin that we've asked Him to forgive, and we've learned in our relationship with Him that His mercy is from everlasting to everlasting. God is extremely patient with us.

Paul is telling us that that same love that Christ has extended towards us, that patience, is a patience that should be evidenced in our lives. We are so rambunctious, we are so eager to say an unkind word when somebody is a minute late. Love, the love of God, evidencing itself through our lives will be evidenced in patience.

Now folks, this is a really personal letter, I mean, it's a personal matter. It hits all of us. I read that and I say let me go to the next point quick, because we all are so impatient.

Look at the next one. Love is kind. The world is filled with hurting, suffering people, and love knows this and does what it can to help, to uplift, to serve, to encourage, to otherwise embrace them. It is quick to speak an encouraging word, quick to offer everyone a willing, outstretched hand. Love is kind.

I think one of the great stories of history is the story of Abraham Lincoln and a man that he admired very, very much. His name was Mr. Stanton. He was a brilliant man and Abraham Lincoln wanted him to be his Secretary of War, but Stanton loathed Mr. Lincoln. He said he is an ugly guerrilla. He said you don't even have to go to Africa to look for guerrillas, just go down to Springfield, Illinois and you'll find one. I mean he wasn't kind at all to Abraham Lincoln, and every time he had an opportunity he'd say something ugly about Abraham Lincoln. But Abraham Lincoln knew that he had the qualities of being an excellent Secretary of War so he appointed him as such, and even after Stanton had been appointed as the Secretary of War he still had ugly things to say about the president.

Then came the night when President Lincoln was shot in the theater is and they rushed his body to a side room and standing there with tears flowing down from his eyes to his cheeks was Stanton. He pointed to that dead body and he said there lies one of the greatest leaders of men of history. Kindness had finally won his heart. Paul says as the love of Christ flows through our lives it's going to be evidenced in a kindness that doesn't measure situations and has no limits.

Look at what he says: love does not envy. The first two descriptions of love have been very positive. Here is the first of eight negative statements. He is saying what love is not and does not do. Love is not jealous. It is glad when other people win honors, and achieve fame, and strike it rich, and are praised. This is because love knows God and is content with the life God has given, and only a believer can truly be happy when others are preferred before himself.

Look at the next one: love does not boast. This world is filled with boasters, people who in one way or another are calling attention to who they are, and how important they are, and how much they have achieved. Love does not do this because love does not think highly of itself and because it is glad when others are exalted. A wise man once said, "There is no limit to what a man can achieve if he is not worried about who gets the credit."

You know, there are times when you walk into a room and a person is there. You don't know who they are, you just have a sense by their presence that they are different. There is something about them that makes them different, and yet they conduct themselves with dignity and humility, and kindness. You admire that.

Paul said when the love of Christ, when God's love flows through us, we're not going to boast about ourselves. That's not Christian.

Look at the next one. Love is not proud. The opposite of pride is humility, and love is humble.

The next one: love is not rude. The opposite of rudeness is courtesy, and love has good manner. It thinks of others. It holds its tongue and waits for others to speak. Love listens. Love does not dominate a social setting and will not blurt out things that wound another person.

Look at the next one: love is not self-seeking. The world looks at something and asks, "What's in it for me?" Love does not seek for self, because it is not thinking of self, Love thinks of the one it loves.

I'm at the top of the page 4. Love is not easily angered. Dr. Drummond says, that which destroys life, that which breaks up communities, that which destroys what is sacred in relationships, is responsible for anger. But love is not easily angered. It does not have a short fuse. It is not irritable. It's not easily provoked. It is not touchy. Love is patient and kind.

Next: love keeps no records of wrongs. Some people have a knack of bringing up mistakes we have made and wounds we have inflicted even decades backwards. I know people who say, look at, 7 1/2 years ago at 7:15, they've not forgotten an injured moment. Love doesn't do that. Love doesn't keep statistics. Love forgives and forgets. It lets the past be the past. It doesn't keep digging it back up.

I have a young man say to me some years ago, when we go back and dig up things that have already been put under the blood of Christ, we are doing something unfair. God has already put them under the blood and He has cast them from us as far as the East is from the West. Why do we waste time picking them up again and poking them at somebody's face? Paul said love doesn't do that. Love doesn't keep a record of wrongs.

Look at number 10, love does not delight in evil. Love is not amused by wrongdoing. It is not attracted by vice. It does not find trash intriguing, even when it is dressed up for prime time television. Now that one hit home, didn't it? But when the love of Christ is flowing through us, we're going to find what most appears on television is going to be very, very offensive. Love does. Not delight in evil.

Love rejoices in truth. Number 12, love always protects. First, it always protects the other person. It sides with the weak. It rallies around the one who has been oppressed, attacked, abused, hurt, slandered, or otherwise made a victim. Love protects.

Look at the next one. Love always trusts. Love is never suspicious. Love is not trying to see under the surface or pry out the hidden motives of another. Love is not stupid or gullible, but it always thinks the best. It is the quality that brings out the best in other people.

Love always hopes. Love does not stop loving because it is not loved in return or because it is deceived. Love hopes for the best, and it forgives not once or even seven times, but seven times seventy. Love doesn't even count. And love never gives up. Love outlasts everything.

You say, Pastor, you lost me way back at the beginning, because I can't love like that. None of us can. We in our own selves, we are weak, we have our failures, our deficiencies, and when we start reading that list and it says that's what a Christian acts like, I say, man, I can't do it. That's a good place to start.

Paul writes, the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. Now there's the secret. The closer I am to God in my devotions, in the reading of the Scriptures, in allowing His presence and His being to fill my being, only then can that love flow through me to the folks around me. And the farther I am from God, the more conflicts I'm going to have with my fellow man, because that love isn't going to be flowing. The closer I am to God...and I've spent time with Him and I understand that He loves my fellow man, and I must love him too, that affinity, that close affinity, His love, will pour through us. You can do it otherwise folks.

There's another thing about love. Love is not a fuzzy warm feeling. It's not emotions. Well then what is it? Love is a decision. It's an act of the will. We choose to be kind. We choose to be gracious. We choose to be unforgiving. That's a choice that we're responsible for. A lot of people think that we only do it because love is supposed to be an emotion and if I'm not emotionally drawn to it I don't do it. Nonsense.

If it's right and it's godly, it's righteous. And therefore I make the decision to do what is right with my fellow man and before Almighty God. And thus this whole matter of living a life filled with love that flows with the love of God simply has its secret in the relationship of where I am with God and His love flowing through me. It's that easy folks. But it takes discipline to love. It requires work and courage.

Ladies and gentlemen, if love does not tie us together as a family it will separate, hatred will separate us. And I think one of the griefs that I've lived with over the 50 some odd years of ministry is I've watched churches injured in their testimony in our world, totally emptied because people called themselves Christian and yet they turned against one another and hurt one another in the body of Christ. It's sad. And I have more people come to me who've been injured by other Christians in other churches and I watch these churches they don't go anywhere. And I've often said when churches keep having splits and keep hurting one another, you've got a nail the front door shut, close it up, because such a place is a disgrace to the cause of Christ. I have met so many people that have been hurt because of the lack of love within the body of Christ.

I sat at dinner Thursday night with a friend of nearly 30 years. I know his children. I had learned that one of his children had departed from the faith long ago, so when it was an appropriate moment and we were talking about very personal things I said, sir, I understand one of your boys no longer follows God. He said, yes pastor, that's true. I said, what happened? Was there a crisis that took place for him? Because I knew the boy, very sensitive and very wise, and when I knew him he loved God.

He said, yes pastor, he said, in a church many, many years ago there was a conflict that took place. People were fighting, talking against each other, and the church was divided. And I happened to be one of the objects and they said ill things about me, and my boy said, no, that's my dad. You don't talk about him like that. And when the dust settled and the church lost about a thousand people, and this lovely family was hurt, one night his son said to him, dad, I'm going to tell you something - if that's the way Christians treat each other, I don't want anything to do with Christianity. I'm done.

That boy never has gone back to church since. He now is a man 35 years of age, and as far as he's concerned God is 1,000,000 miles from him because he doesn't want anything to do with God. And a father grieves. What caused it? Christians who weren't really Christians - and therefore my prayer as your pastor is, dear God, help us never to stoop so low that we injure one another in the body of Christ. We may not agree with each other. That's not important.

Jesus said all men will know you are My disciples if you love one another - and they'll know you're not My disciple when you don't.

The Scripture's pretty straight, isn't it? It doesn't leave us anywhere to equivocate. We have a solemn, sacred responsibility in the family of God to love one another, to build one another up, and never to injure another person.

Let's pray. God, we don't have to ask what You mean today because we've read enough Scripture, and You made it very clear. You commanded us to love one another. And we've learned that the closer we draw to You, Your love, a love that sent Your Son to this world to die for us, a love so intense, a love so wonderful, Your love through the work of Your Holy Spirit can flow through us to our world. Now please help us, Lord Jesus. Amen. God bless you folks.