Sermon
Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery
March 6, 2005
Pastor Leighton Sheley

I would like to invite you to take your Bibles and open to Exodus chapter 20 verse 14 - Genesis, Exodus, second book, chapter 20 verse 14. We are going to be studying one of the Ten Commandments. The Ten Commandments are sometimes called the Decalogue and are profound in their wisdom for building happy and fulfilling lives and safe and prosperous communities.

America's foundation was established upon the Ten Commandments, and as the result, we as a nation have enjoyed peace and prosperity, but in recent decades we as a nation have begun to drift away from the God of our fathers and from God's word, and as the result we are dealing with depravity as succeeding generations drift farther from God.

There was an article that appeared in Christian Times Today entitled "The Forgotten Ten Commandments," and the article reports that according to a new British poll the country is quickly forgetting the Ten Commandments. Only three of the laws made any showing in the poll. Only 9% of those polled recalled the commandment not to lie - 9%. Less than half of the population remembered the admonitions not to steal, murder or commit adultery.

In Exodus chapter 20 verse 14 God said, Thou shalt not commit adultery. Now we are in a society where nearly everything depends upon marketing, and marketing depends upon sex. We are systematically programmed into an artificial reality manufactured by airbrushed, digitally enhanced models designed to make us discontent with reality. People are surrounded all day long with people who are at their best behavior, attractively dressed, and professionally helpful. When they get home at the end of a long hard day they are met by an exhausted and frazzled spouse who may not be on their best behavior, and thus they see their spouse under the worst of conditions and everyone else under the best of conditions. Add to this the pressures of reality on home life, financial and otherwise, and we live in an environment that is antagonistic to marriage.

Now marriage was created before the fall of man, before Adam and Eve chose to sin against God, and it is to that description that we must look to find God's intention for marriage. Because of the sinfulness of mankind marriage is not what God intended it to be. All it takes for marriage to not be what God intended it to be is for one of the partners to be sinful. Unfortunately every marriage starts with two strikes against it, since every marriage consists of not one but two sinners trying to live together in harmony. Marriage is not what God intended it to be because of sin.

Now someone sent me some interesting quips regarding marriage:
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

I was told that Ruth Graham, the very godly wife of evangelist Billy Graham, was interviewed and she was asked if she had ever considered divorce. Her response was something like, no...murder...

Marriage is not what God intended it to be because of sin, and very few things can try our Christianity as much as marriage. Now God said, thou shalt not commit adultery. Thou shalt not, is pretty clear - no, with no exceptions. Of course mankind didn't seem to understand 'thou shalt not' when God said thou shalt shall not eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

You see it's not that 'thou shalt not' is not clear, the issue is obedience and trust. Eve's trust in God was fractured at the suggestion of the serpent, and she questioned whether God's intention in His commandment was really in her best interest. She wondered if God was trying to keep her from something that was good for her, and people often question God in the same manner concerning this commandment. They allow themselves to wonder if God might be withholding something that is good for them.

Someone has said that God's opinion would be our opinion if we knew what God knows. And the point is that we would change our opinion to God's opinion if we knew what God knows. What does God know? Everything. God knows everything. God knows best. God's opinion is perfect, and God's opinion and His command is that people do not commit adultery.

Now, 'thou shalt not commit adultery' brings up the question, what is adultery? Simply put, adultery is sex outside of marriage. It includes premarital sex extramarital sex, homosexuality, and any sex outside of God ordained marriage. Now that answer is sufficient for some people, but there are others who would ask to define sex, and others who would ask for a definition of marriage. And the definition of marriage might bring additional questions such as, When is divorce acceptable to God? And can a person who is divorced remarry? And all of these questions are related and revolve around the subject of marriage.

Of course we're not going to be able to cover all aspects of that, but when our time is concluded today we should be able to walk away with a clearer understanding of God's intention in marriage, divorce, and adultery.

The fact that our nation no longer accepts a universal definition of marriage is clear in the dangerous efforts of godless people to redefine marriage in the laws of our land. It is not to people or people's opinion we look to to find God's opinion, we look to God's word, and I like to invite you if you'll take your Bibles now and move to Matthew Chapter 19. I know that in our church we have some people who have not had a church background and are new to their faith and new to their Bible, and the Bible is really a book of books. There are 66 books in the Bible and at the front, or near the front, one of the first pages you'll find is a table of contents and that will facilitate you locating the book that you are trying to find.

We are in Matthew now Chapter 19, and it reads: When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan. Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there. Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?"

Now let me give you a little background on this passage. The Pharisees were the archenemies of Jesus. They were continuously out to discredit Him and undermined His ministry. And when He moved from Galilee to the other side of the Jordan they saw a fresh opportunity to attack Him. The other side of the Jordan was a territory that was governed by Herod Antipas. Herod Antipas was a godless, evil tyrant who in addition to his many other sins stole the wife of his brother Philip, Herodias, and was in a continuous adulterous, incestuous relationship with her. John the Baptist confronted Herod concerning his adultery and ultimately lost his head for the offense. And now that Jesus was in this territory governed by Herod, the Pharisees hope to accomplish the same with Him.

They knew Jesus' position on marriage, adultery, and divorce, and that's why they came to Him at this place at this time with this question. Now if they were unsuccessful at removing His head at least they hoped to reduce His popularity. Most Pharisees taught that divorce was acceptable for any reason, and this teaching was based on a convenient misinterpretation of Deuteronomy chapter 24.

Now if you'd like you can keep one finger in Matthew 19 because we are coming back there, but if you want you can look at Deuteronomy chapter 24 so that we can take a look at this passage. You'll know where it is and you'll know what it means and how it applies. Deuteronomy chapter 24 - it reads: If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, and if after she leaves his house she becomes the wife of another man, and her second husband dislikes her and writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, or if he dies, then her first husband, who divorced her, is not allowed to marry her again after she has been defiled. That would be detestable in the eyes of the Lord.

Now this passage does not condone nor does it promote divorce, rather what this passage disallows is wife swapping. It disallows temporary divorces and marriages of convenience. It was a given that sexual activity was not permissible outside of marriage so they redefined marriage as something that was temporary. A swinging couple would arrange to divorce under pretense, perhaps of finding something indecent in their marriage partner, after their supposedly legitimate divorce they would supposedly marry someone else, another partner, until it was time to get another divorce and go home.

By misusing divorce certificates they thought themselves free to have multiple partners in sexual relationships all while claiming that such activity was within the bonds of marriage. This passage shuts down temporary marriages of convenience. God's intention is that marriage be life long unless terminated by death or divorce, and divorce only under certain circumstances. If the marriage did not last a lifetime, the divorce would.

Now conveniently the Pharisees focused on the words 'displeasing' and 'indecent' and thus interpreted this passage as a biblical license to divorce in the event they found something displeasing about their spouse. Indecent was so broadly defined as to include just about any excuse. A wife could be divorced for burning a meal - burn the bagels...next...

A wife could be divorced for talking with another man. A wife could be divorced for saying something offensive to her husband or virtually anything that could be described as indecent. Some Pharisees taught that if a man found someone else more attractive then their spouse was displeasing and indecent in their sight and therefore eligible for divorce.

Then coming back to Matthew chapter 19. In answer to this question that the Pharisees had given Him regarding divorce, Jesus clarified God's intention in marriage and gave three reasons why there should be no divorce.

Jesus said, "Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."

Jesus' first reason that there should be no divorce is that God created one man and one woman. God did not create spares. God did not create Adam and Eve and Anna just in case Eve didn't work out. There were no alternatives. Divorce was not an option. Polygamy was not an option.

Notice also that Jesus specifies that God created male and female for marriage. Same-sex marriage is not acceptable to God. Notice that Jesus said it was between a male and a female. He did not say between a male and females. He didn't say between males and a female. He didn't say between males and females. He said between a male and a female. Marriage is a covenant between one man and one woman.

Now the second reason that there should be no divorce is that there was to be a strong bond between the male and the female. The man was called to be united or cleave to his wife. That word means to be glued or fused or welded. Jesus said that no longer shall they be two, but one. A man and his wife are no longer two separate people but rather one person. One person cannot have parts separated without becoming a partial person. Now of course it was God's intention that this lifelong bond be a happy one.

The third reason that Jesus said there should be no divorce is that God creates marriage. Jesus said, what God hath joined together, don't divorce. Now this passage is often times twisted and used as an excuse with people who are looking for a justification in their divorce. They usually claim that their marriage was never joined together by God because it didn't take place in a church, or it was never accepted by their family or friends, or perhaps they didn't understand the commitment that they were making at the time. Again, this is a twisting of the intention of Scripture for convenience.

What Jesus is saying here is that regardless of where a male and female make the marriage covenant, that covenant is recognized as being God made. Do not tear apart something that God has made.

The passage continues, Matthew 19:7, the Pharisees say, "Why then did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?" Stop right there.

Moses did not command a man to divorce. A divorce was only provided to protect the innocent party in a marriage where the hardhearted partner was in a continuous adulterous relationship and there was no repentance after numerous appeals.

Verse 8, Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery."

Now at this point of the Pharisees sort of fade away in the narrative. They disappear and we're not told why. It could have been because Jesus had publicly humiliated them when he exposed them as adulterers, but what is interesting to us is that this subject matter doesn't end there. The disciples had overheard the dialogue between Jesus and the Pharisees and they had an observation or a comment of their own to make.

Verse 10, The disciples said to him, "If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry." Now what the disciples were suggesting, that if you were stuck in a marriage till death do you part with an unsatisfying mate, you were better off never getting married in the first place. And the implication was well if marriage is that difficult, why should anyone bother? Why not just have your sexual desires met outside of marriage?

And Jesus answers that in verse 11, "Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it."

Now around the core of His answer Jesus puts a parenthesis, who is this one who can accept this teaching? And the answer is, the one who receives the word of the Lord. The world cannot receive this teaching because it runs contrary to their values. Only those who receive the word of the Lord can accept and should accept this teaching.

Now Jesus said that the alternative to marriage is being a eunuch or one who renounces marriage to dedicate themselves to the work of the kingdom of God. A eunuch is one who does not or cannot engage in sexual behavior. Jesus clearly taught that there is to be no sex outside of marriage.

Now some might be asking if adultery is sex out of marriage, what is sex? Define sex. And in 20 years of ministry I find that most people who ask this question are asking for the line, and their intention in asking for the line is they want to know if it's okay to talk or touch or hug or whatever the case might be. They want that line so that they can get as close to the line without crossing over the line as they possibly can.

So then what is the line of sin? Jesus answers that question. In your Bibles please turn to Matthew chapter 5 verse 27 and following and Jesus will tell us where that line is. Jesus said, "You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." That's the line. It's never even close to touching. You have already crossed the line when you think about adultery. If you think about adultery you are sinning. You have already crossed the line. You need to repent and you need to stop.

Now you cannot control what comes into your mind, but you can control what you think about. If you allow yourself to think about sexual activity outside of a marriage covenant, if you voluntarily expose yourself to pornography, you have already crossed the line. Philippians 4:8 says, Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things.

Although we cannot control what comes into our minds we can control what we think about. We are responsible for what we think about. If we allow ourselves to think adulterous thoughts, we are guilty of adultery before the God who knows our thoughts. Now when people physically sin, it's when opportunity and appetite coincide. If there's opportunity to sin but there's no appetite then sin doesn't occur. If there is appetite to sin but no opportunity, sin can't occur. The danger is when opportunity and appetite coincide, and sin can sweep you away like a strong current against which you cannot swim. Don't give opportunity to sin and you won't be swept away.

Someone said if you don't want to be stung stay away from bees. Stay away from situations where you can be attempted. Malachi 2 says, "So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth."

Now some may ask, well, Why is God so concerned about this matter? Why is it so important to God? Paul writes in Ephesians 5:31, "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." He's talking about marriage. In the next verse he says, "This is a profound mystery-but I am talking about Christ and the church."

There is a profound mystery the Bible tells us that connects marriage with Christ and the church, His chosen people. Perhaps faithfulness in marriage honors Jesus' faithfulness to His bride, the church. We don't understand all of the ramifications of what this means to God or why this means so much to God, but we know that it means so much to God.

1 Corinthians 6 says, "Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God."

"The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body." "Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never!" "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body."

Now I know in the services as we gather together this weekend and we discuss this matter that there are those who the very mention of the word adultery is very uncomfortable because of something in the past, and our purpose is not to remind you of guilt and shame. If you have confessed your sin and repented of your sin then God is faithful and just to forgive you your sin and cleanse you from all unrighteousness. Your sin has been cast as far from you as the East is from the West, and you should not carry guilt and shame that God has forgiven.

Perhaps there are some amongst us who are presently committing adultery. The Scriptures say, today, if you hear His voice do not harden your hearts. A man who commits adultery lacks judgment. Whoever does so, destroys himself. Marriage should be honored by all and the marriage bed kept pure. For God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. Repent from your sin, turn back to God, ask for forgiveness and cleansing, and receive it by faith.

If there may be some among us who are thinking about committing adultery, God's Word says don't do it. Don't even think about it. Hearken, listen, to the word of the Lord, the perfect opinion of our loving heavenly Father. Do not commit adultery.

Let us pray.

Dear Lord we are so thankful for Your holy word. Without it Lord we would not know from whence we came. We would not know why we here and in this condition. We would not know where we are going. Your word is our light and our lamp. It is our guidance.

Lord we thank you that Your guidance is unambiguous. Lord we thank you that our salvation is not dependent upon our ability to keep the Ten Commandments, because if that were the case then all of us would be lost, for each and every one of us has broken these commandments. Thank you Lord for salvation by grace through faith in Jesus Christ. Thank you Lord for Your Holy Spirit who is the seal of our salvation and who faithfully and patiently works within us daily transforming us more and more into the image of Your only begotten Son, our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Thank you Lord. Thank you Lord, in Jesus' name we pray, amen. God bless you.