Sermon
God's Kind of Family
May 9, 2004
Pastor Donald Sheley

Now in your bulletins there is a sermon that I'm not going to preach. You know, I often prepare my messages 6, 8, 10 weeks in advance; in fact, I'm working on our messages for this summer. Our new series for the summer series is entitled "Learning From the Saints and the Aints". Now I know that's not good English, but we're going to go back and we're going to take 13 characters from the Old Testament and we're going to learn life's lessons. Some of them were saints and some of them were aints, but it's going to be an interesting time as we study the Old Testament together this summer.

But oft times in the preparation...when I come to Saturday the excitement and the thrust of what I want to say just disappears. And I understand that after being in the pulpit now for 53 years. The reason why take God takes some sermons from me is because He has another one He wants me to preach. Now I must tell you that over the 50 years of ministry the hardest sermon in the world for me to preach is the Mother's Day sermon. Now it's not because my mother passed away a few weeks ago. I enjoyed my mother for 90 years; a godly, wonderful lady. But I'm fully aware that Mother's Day is a very sensitive day of the year.

Some of us had Mothers that taught us the way of righteousness and godliness, and others we would prefer not to discuss the spiritual aspects of her. In fact, recently a television crew wanted to go into a lady's prison and the reason for doing that was to see how women in prison celebrated Mother's Day. And after a few interviews by the television crews of the ladies they learned very quickly that the mothers there were mothers who resented their own mothers because they were not the mothers they really would have liked. And so the ladies chose to change the name of the celebration from Mother's Day to Lady's Day. And so I'm aware that I'm speaking to some about a very sensitive matter and I'm very, very understanding about that.

But last night, after the evening service, I have men who come to pray with me and we pray for the services of this day, and one man sat there weeping. He knew that I have a reluctance to talk about sensitive subjects, and what I'm going to talk about today, but he said, Pastor, with tears, I want you to know my family is a disaster. And he said I regret that, but I didn't come to Christ until I was much older in life and I never taught my children to love God. So he said I want you to go ahead and preach that sermon tomorrow because they'll be a lot of young couples who need to hear what you have to say. I wish I'd have heard it, he said, 45 years ago. So today we change our message and we're going to talk to you about God's kind of family.

If you'll take your Bibles go to the book of Deuteronomy. Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy - so it's the fifth book in the Bible. It's right near the front pages of your Bible text. And I want you to go to Deuteronomy chapter 6. It's a marvelous chapter. It's a chapter that describes, I think, God's kind of family, and that is what I'd like to talk to you today about - God's kind of family.

Beginning to read at verse 4 Deuteronomy 6: "Hear, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the LORD is one! You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates."

I want you to leave your Bible open to that text because throughout our lesson I want to refer to various verses in that chapter.

I'd like to begin our time with you by asking a question: If the walls and the doors of your home were all glass and nothing could be hid from the world, what would they see your family to be? Would it be a place of understanding and peace, or a hive of wasps and serpents? Would it be a haven of respect and love, or would it be a dog eat dog den of survival? What would the world see if they could look inside your homes?

In 1975 Edith Shaffer wrote a book entitled "What Is A Family?" And here are a number of the chapter titles that she put in her book. Chapter 1, a shelter in the time of storm; chapter 2, a perpetual relay of truth; chapter 3, a museum of memories; chapter 4, a door that has hinges and locks; chapter 5, an economic unit the birthplace of creativity; chapter 6, a formation center of human relations. Now whatever the family is to you, there's one thing for certain, it is an extremely important thing to almighty God. He created it and it is His idea, and it bears the stamp of divine purpose.

Do you know that if we were to define the family today as a working husband, a stay at home mom, and two children, we would only be describing 7% of the homes in America today. For some who listen to my voice the family which once was is no more, or at least not like it used to be. In recent years a story written by a Girl Scout for the national Girl Scout magazine, The American Girl, told a sad story. The girl's name was Vicky Crashower (spelling unsure). I'm going to read her story that was published in the national scout magazine.

I was ten and my parents got a divorce. Naturally my father told me about it because he was my favorite. "Honey, I know it's been kind of bad for these past few days and I don't want to make it worse, but there something I've got to tell you. Your mother and I are getting a divorce."
"But daddy..."
"I know you don't want this but it has to be done. Your mother and I just don't get along like we used to. I'm already packed and my plane will be leaving in just half an hour."
"But daddy! Why do you have to leave?"
"Well honey, your mother and I can't live together anymore."
"I know that, but I mean why do you have to leave town daddy?"
"Well, I've got someone waiting for me in New Jersey."
"But daddy will I ever see you again?"
"Sure you will honey. We'll work something out."
"But what, I mean, you'll be living in New Jersey and we're living here in Washington."
"Well maybe your mother will agree that you spend two weeks in the summer and two weeks in the winter with me."
"But why not more often daddy? "
"I don't think she'll agreed with two weeks in the summer and two weeks in the winter much less more."
"Well it can't hurt to try daddy."
"I know honey, but we'll have to work at it later. I have to get to the plane now it's leaving in just 20 minutes. Now I'm going to get my luggage and I want you to go to your room so you don't have to watch me leave, and no long goodbyes either."
"Okay daddy, but I don't want you to go. Goodbye. Don't forget to write."
"I won't. Goodbye now. Now go to your room."
"Okay daddy, but I don't want you to go."
"I know honey, but I have to."
"Why!"
"You wouldn't understand honey."
"Yes I would. "
"No you wouldn't."
"Oh well, goodbye daddy."
"Goodbye now. Go to your room and hurry up."
"Okay daddy."
Little Vicky ends her story - well I guess that's the way life goes sometimes. After my father walked out the door I have never heard from him again.

The ancient Psalm is so right. Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it. But our Bible gives us a far different picture of a home than I've just described. It's found in Psalm 127 verse 3 through Psalm 128 verse 6. Here's God's description; here's the biblical description of a home that God is honored and blessed.
Behold, children are a gift of the Lord,
The fruit of the womb is a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,
So are the children of one's youth.
How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them;
They shall not be ashamed
When they speak with their enemies in the gates.
How blessed is everyone who fears the Lord,
Who walks in His ways.
When you shall eat of the fruit of your hands,
You will be happy and it will be well with you.
Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine
Within your house, Your children like olive plants
Around your table.
Behold, for thus shall the man be blessed
Who fears the Lord.

Now when Dr. Spurgeon the great London preacher read those descriptions of the home and the olive plants around the table, he felt that he had found the illustration in the olive grove. He said, this aged, old decayed tree is surrounded as you see by several young and thrifty shoots which spring from the root of the venerable parent. They seem to uphold, to protect, and embrace it. They even fancy that they now bear that load of fruit which would otherwise be demanded of the feeble parent. Thus, good and affectionate children gathered around the table of the righteous is a beautiful sight.

Now when we consider the statistics of the home today we conclude that they are bleak and disheartening, but when we view God's ideal of the home it really is an exciting picture. The challenge of Joshua who spoke it centuries ago said:
"If it is disagreeable in your sight to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves today whom you will serve: whether the gods which your fathers served which were beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living; but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."

Remember, unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it. Now in this Deuteronomy 6 passage that is before us we're going to note four characteristics of a home that's the kind of home that God desires for all of us.

Number 1, the extremely important need of parental example of godliness in life and values. Secondly, the continuous transfer of truth to family. Third, the ever present awareness of God's divine plan and purpose, and fourthly, the frequent need to review the grace and mercy of God who's adopted us into His eternal family. Now let's take them one at a time. In your Bible I'm going to read verses 1 through 5 of Deuteronomy chapter 6.

"These are the commands, decrees and laws the Lord your God directed me to teach you to observe in the land that you are crossing the Jordan to possess, so that you, your children and their children after them may fear the Lord your God as long as you live by keeping all his decrees and commands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy long life. Hear, O Israel, and be careful to obey so that it may go well with you and that you may increase greatly in a land flowing with milk and honey, just as the Lord, the God of your fathers, promised you. Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts."

Now God makes the directive very clear. If we desire our children and our grandchildren to enjoy the blessings of God, we must make as parents godly fear and obedience an absolute priority in our lives and our homes. As parents our love for God must be woven through the entire life style and fabric of our life and our home, and our faith must be real. It must be relevant. It must be authentic. It cannot be phony, outdated, or theoretical. And accept it or not, most naturally our children grow up to be much like us, living by the same standards and values we live by, and living their religion much like the way we live ours.

If our religion, Mom and Dad, is a Sunday morning affair, most likely your children will think just as lightly about their religious commitment. And if we justify sin in our lives the evidence is overwhelming; our children and our grandchildren will find the same sin just as easy, if not easier, to commit and think nothing of it.

Let me use a biblical example. His name is Abraham; his sin, he had a tendency to lie. Go with me to Genesis chapter 20 verse 1. "Now Abraham journeyed from there toward the land of the Negev, and settled between Kadesh and Shur; then he sojourned in Gerar. Abraham said of Sarah his wife, "She is my sister." So Abimelech king of Gerar sent and took Sarah. But God came to Abimelech in a dream of the night, and said to him, "Behold, you are a dead man because of the woman whom you have taken, for she is married.""

Now think with me. God had to rescue Sarah from King Abimelech by warning in a dream because her husband, Abraham, had lied about their relationship and called her just his sister. Now that isn't the first time. Back up in your Bible to Genesis 12:11, and here again we find the tendency to lie. Genesis 12:11, "It came about when he came near to Egypt, that he said to Sarai his wife, "See now, I know that you are a beautiful woman; and when the Egyptians see you, they will say, 'This is his wife'; and they will kill me, but they will let you live.
"Please say that you are my sister so that it may go well with me because of you, and that I may live on account of you.""

Well when we read the story it turns out all right, but life moves on and Abraham and Sarah have a child, and the child's name is Isaac. And his son picks up the warp and the distortion of his dad, Abraham. Look at Genesis 26:6, fascinating, Genesis 26:6 -- "So Isaac lived in Gerar. When the men of the place asked about his wife, he said, "She is my sister."" Like father like son. "for he was afraid to say, "my wife," thinking, "the men of the place might kill me on account of Rebekah.""

But it doesn't stop there, ladies and gentlemen, you see, Isaac has sons, Jacob and Esau. Now we're in Genesis 27:18. Genesis 27:18, these are Abraham's grandsons folks, and another lie. "Then he came to his father and said, "My father." And he said, "Here I am. Who are you, my son?" Jacob said to his father, "I am Esau your firstborn; I have done as you told me. Get up, please, sit and eat of my game, that you may bless me." Isaac said to his son, "How is it that you have it so quickly, my son?" And he said, "Because the Lord your God caused it to happen to me."" Now he's got God involved in the lie.

My point is this: sin travels from generation to generation, and we've got to make the determination to stop it in our generation, because the text says do right so that your son and your grandson might fear the Lord. So God's kind of family is where dad and mom love the Lord with all their soul, with all their strength, and that love is constantly and consistently displayed before the children. It's not just telling your child what to believe; it's living it out of faith daily in your home and in your life. It's not enough to see that your children go to Sunday school; it's imperative that we take them and that we set the example.

It's impossible for us to transfer principles and values to our children if first of all we as parents do not practice or embrace them. Someone wrote:
I'd rather see a sermon than hear one any day:
I'd rather one would walk with me than merely tell the way.
The eye's a better pupil, and more willing than the ear,
Fine council is confusing, but example's always clear.
The best of all the preachers are men who live their creed,
For to see good put into action, is what everyone needs.
I can soon learn how to do it, if you let me see it done,
I can watch your hands in actions, but your tongue too fast can run.
And the sermon you deliver may be very wise and true,
But I'd rather get my lesson by observing what you do.
For I might misunderstand you and the high advice you give,
But there is no misunderstanding how you act and how you live.

Abraham Lincoln once said, There is just one way to bring up a child in the way he should go, and that is to travel the same way yourself. A great Christian leader in recent months made this statement, that oft times young people who rebel against the Christian faith are not really rebelling against God at all. They have never had an actual encounter with the living God to rebel against. They are rebelling against a dead religious formalism or a hypocritical example that they have observed in the home that they have thought and determined was religion, and they wanted nothing to do with it.

Robert G Ingersoll, one of America's great atheists, if there is such a thing is a great atheist, who hated God with a vengeance, if there was a God to hate, and I learned that his father was a preacher. But what he saw in his father he wanted nothing of.

The Bible says, and Solomon wrote it, he said, train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart. Now that is an interesting word in the Hebrew language, train, train up a child. Let me tell you how it was used. When a mother, a young mother, wanted to wean her child away from the breast to start eating food from the plate, she would take the food and touch his tongue. By doing that she created the taste for food from the plate, and soon the child was eating food from the plate. That was creating a taste. And what Solomon is saying, that by our lives, by our deeds, we should create a taste for God in our families by the way we talk to them, by the stories we tell them, by the life we live before them, by the love we embrace them with we create a taste for God.

Now the next essential is found in first 7. Are you there with me? Deuteronomy 6:7, You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. You see religious training which God commands us to give to our children is no lick and a promise, it's diligent, it's pervasive, it's not harsh, and it's not oppressive. Rather it's the quiet threading of God's word through the activities and the experiences that take place in our home. It's a faith that flows. It's not forced. It's a faith that fits comfortably into the family life. It's not something that is tacked on or stuffed into a dull moment the day. You see children are more perceptive in spiritual matters than adults sometimes realize. They do not respond merely to the words and formal beliefs of their parents, they sense the inner spirit of their parent's faith and that is what they react to.

And I've learned something as I'm growing older, you're always a parent. You parent from the cradle to the grave. I'm passed my '70s, my children are in their 40s, but I'm still their parent and I enjoy parenting them every day. But I realize that they never stop observing us as parents, and there is that need to be always consistent, honest, integris in the full journey of life because no matter what stage of life we are at, they're still watching us.

I read a poem: 'Twas a sheep, not a lamb, that went astray in the parable Jesus told. 'Twas a grown-up sheep that had wandered away from the ninety and nine in the fold. And out on the hill tops, and out in the cold, 'twas a sheep that the Good Shepherd sought; And back to the flock, and back to the fold, 'twas a sheep that the Good Shepherd brought. Now why should the sheep be so carefully fed and cared for still day? Because there is a danger, if they go wrong, they will lead the lambs astray. For the lambs will follow the sheep, you know, wherever they wander wherever they go; and if the sheep go wrong, it will not be long till the lambs are as wrong as they. So still with the sheep we must earnestly plead, for the sake of the lambs today; for if the lambs are lost, what a terrible cost some sheep will have to pay!

Woodrow Wilson served as president of Princeton University and he spoke these words to a parents' group who came at the beginning of a new semester. He said, parents, I get many letters from you about your children. You want to know why we people up here at Princeton can't make more out of them and do more for them. He said let me tell you the reason we can't. It may shock you just a little, but I'm not trying to be rude. The reason is they're your sons. They have been reared in your homes. They are blood of your blood, and they are bone of your bones, and they have absorbed the ideals of your homes. You have formed them and fashion them. They are your sons and in those malleable, moldable years of their lives you have forever left your imprint upon them. The Christian home is the Master's workshop were the processes of character molding are silently, lovingly, faithfully, and successfully carried on.

Thirdly, we suggest that the essential characteristic of a godly family is the ever-present awareness of God's divine plan. Notice verse 10, he says, Then it shall come about that the Lord your God brings you into the land which He swore by your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, to give you, great and splendid cities which you did not build, houses full of good things that you did not fill, hewn cisterns which you did not dig, vineyards and olive trees which you did not plant, and you shall eat and be satisfied, then watch yourself, lest you forget the Lord who brought you from the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery.

Life is varied. The days some filled with plenty and peace, and others times of grief and despair and need. The warning is -- Watch yourself lest you forget God. Too frequently the spiritual tide to our homes is determined by our economic success or failure. There is something so alluring about fortune, fame, power, pleasure, money, and these idols surround us and beckon for our attention, and for our family's attention.

Somebody wrote something very interesting about money:
Dug from the mountainside or washed in the glen,
Servant am I or master of men;
Earn me I bless you, steal me I curse you;
Grasp me and hold me, a fiend shall possess you;
Lie for me, die for me; covet me, take me;
Angel or Devil, I'm just what you make me.
Money.

Jesus said the seed that falls amongst the thorns are seeds planted where the deceitfulness of riches and cares of this world choke out spiritual life. The old ancient prophet Habakkuk reminds us to praise God in the midst of great poverty and distress:
Although the fig tree should not blossom
Neither shall the fruit be on the vines,
The labor of the olive shall fail
And the fields shall yield no meat and flock,
He said, Yet I will rejoice in the Lord.

You see God hath not promised skies always blue
Flower strewn pathways all our lives through
God hath not promised sun without rain
Joy without sorrow nor peace without pain
God hath not promised we shall not know
toil and temptation, trouble or woe
He hath not told us we shall not bear
many a burden and many a care
But God hath promised strength for the day
Rest for the labor and light for the way
Grace for the trials and help from above
Unfailing kindness and undying love.

You see, in His providence, God knows how much joy and sorrow how much pleasure and pain, how much prosperity and poverty is proper for His child. He knows the correct balance of sunshine and storm, the precise mixture of darkness and light that it takes to mold our character. And when you have nothing left but God, then for the first time you become aware that God is enough. A godly home is a home where Mom and Dad never allow the circumstances that surround them ever to diminish the children's concept of God.

And lastly if we went to verse 20, Moses says, your children will rise up and say, Dad, what about these things? Why do we worship like we worship? And the dad will answer because we were once slaves in Egypt and God brought us out so He could bring us in. It's a fascinating statement. He brought us out of darkness, out of slavery, so He could bring us into freedom. Now what I'm suggesting to you, the marks of a Christian family is a home where forever and always that eternal hope is ever vibrant reminding the children of God's goodness and the blessings of living in a godly home. To live in a home where God is not in charge is a home I wouldn't want to live in, but to live in a home where God is loved and honored and allowed to be the head of the home, that's the kind of home God wants.

So the kind of home that God desires is a home where Dad and Mom live out their faith consistently every day, where they will always live their lives so that the things of time do not diminish the concept of God. They will live their lives knowing that everything they do they transfer truth to the children.

When our boys were little Vernita always had books, and as we traveled along the children would enjoy Christian stories. We used that occasion for transferring truth. And a godly home is where we'd never allow our children to forget how our home has been blessed by God's presence. Amen?

Jesus, I know I talked to so many today who say, Pastor, I would to God I had a home like that, and I know that God. And others of us can sit here and say thank God our home has some semblance of what was described today. But for all of us, would You help us to make our home more godly, more Christ centered, more filled with love, and Your presence reigning supreme. That's our prayer. Thank you Jesus. Amen. God bless you.