Sermon
The Sacredness of Marriage
January 16-17, 1999
Pastor Donald Sheley

I'm going to ask you now to take your Bibles and join with me. We're studying together the Sermon on the Mount. We've been here for a number of months, and we'll be here probably the rest of the year in this great passage. Matthew 5, 6 and 7. Join me at Matthew chapter 5. Today we're going to consider the verses 27 through 30. "You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not commit adultery.' "But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. "If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. "And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.

Lord Jesus. I ask You to speak to our hearts the truths from this passage this evening, in Jesus' name. Amen.

Last Sunday we observed that Jesus made a dramatic statement concerning the most religious people in the Jewish society. They were the scribes and the Pharisees. We notice in verse 20 He says, "For I say to you, that unless your righteousness exceeds the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, you will be no means enter the kingdom of heaven. And of course that was a dramatic statement to be said on His first sermon because those that were with Him there were considered to be the most religious and spiritual people in all the world, the scribes and the Pharisees. But Jesus said something, if your righteousness is not better than theirs, they're not going to heaven and neither will you. 

Now when He said that we noticed also last Sunday that the remaining verses in chapter 5, Jesus chooses six different areas of life; six different issues. And He uses those as illustrations to show how the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees in no way came up to the righteousness that almighty God requires. Last Sunday we also noticed that Jesus said that anger and hatred deserve the equal punishment as a murderer. And we read from John that he who hates his brother is a murderer, and thus, Jesus said that all of us have that potential of being a murderer and we deserve equal punishment. We noticed also that sin begins in the heart. 

Mark 7:20- 23 says, And He said, "What comes out of a man, that defiles a man. "For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, "thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lewdness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness. "All these evil things come from within and defile a man." We noticed that the scribes and the religion or the righteousness of the scribes and the Pharisees was superficial. It didn't deal with anything inside of them. And Jesus says, no, true religion starts and comes from the heart. And it's from the heart flows the issues of life. 

Proverbs 4:23 says, Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life. And Jesus said the good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings out evil things out of that which is stored up in his heart. For out of the heart, out of the overflow of the heart, his mouth speaks. Now we learned also something that with regards to the commandment thou shall not kill, the righteousness of the scribes and the Pharisees had reduced the matter of murder simply to an act of injustice in society and then said the human courts will determine. And yet Jesus said murder begins as an attitude and a condition of the heart, and it is here where it must be stopped and it is God who judges the attitudes and the motives of the heart. Now our lesson today. Jesus takes up the subject of adultery and sexual sin, and I've divided it into three very simple divisions. First of all He talks about deed, then He talks about the desire, and then He talks about the deliverance. And Jesus quotes from the Ten Commandments Exodus 20:14, and He says, "You shall not commit adultery. Now adultery is the breach of wedlock. The grievousness of this offence appears in that it breaks the solemn covenant entered into between husband and wife and God. It robs another of the precious ornament of chastity. It defiles the body and it ruins the soul. Adultery brings down the vengeance of God upon the posterity which Job called a fire that consumeth to destruction. 

1 Corinthians 6:9-10 says, Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. In Hebrews 13:4 it says, Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge. And in Leviticus 20:10, 'The man who commits adultery with another man's wife, he who commits adultery with his neighbor's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress, shall surely be put to death. Now God viewed this sin so grievous in the Old Testament that those that were guilty of such a sin were stoned to death. 

Now remember, the verse that introduced this subject, but I say to you, that unless your righteousness exceeds the righteousness of the scribes and the Pharisees, you will be no means enter the kingdom of heaven. So what was the righteousness of the scribes and the Pharisees on the subject of adultery? What did they teach? They saw in the seventh commandment nothing more than the bare injunction no man shall lie with another man's wife. And hence, they thought that so long as men abstained from that particular sin, they met the requirements of this commandment. For you see, the Pharisees had narrowed the meaning of the seventh commandment to a mere outward act of impurity. 

And Jesus went deeper than that. He went to the heart of the matter. Once more, Jesus shows us what vast difference there is between the spiritual requirements of a holy God and the low standards which is deemed sufficient by His fallen creatures and as taught by the religious leaders of Jerusalem. 1 Samuel 16:7 says, For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. That which the world pays no attention to, God regards as the first importance for He says out of the heart flow the issues of life. It's only the pure in heart Jesus said who shall ever see, that is commune with and eternally enjoy, almighty God. Thus the philosophy of sexual hedonism is not new in our day. It was common in New Testament times. It's been common down through history. 

And Paul deals with it in regards to the church at Corinth. His comment, food is for the stomach and the stomach is for the food. And that expressed the common Greek notion that biological functions are simply biological functions and have no moral significance whatsoever. That was basically at the heart of old Greek philosophy. That whatever the body did it had no relationship to anything that was spiritual. Their attitude was that sex is just a biological function. It has no spiritual or eternal or soul significance. But God thinks differently. The body is more than biological as divine judgment will reveal. For the Christian, the body is a member of Christ. It's the temple of the Spirit and it belongs to the Lord rather than to us.

Go with me to 1 Corinthians 6:15-20, Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot? Certainly not! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her? For "the two," He says, "shall become one flesh." But he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him. Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's. 

Turn back in your Bible just a page or two to chapter 3 of 1 Corinthians. Notice verse 16 he has something to say again. You see their notion was that anything the body does is simply a biological function. God says oh no! Your body is the place wherein I live. I place my Holy Spirit within you. Do you not know, verse 16 says, that you are the temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you? If anyone defiles the temple of God, God will destroy him. For the temple of God is holy, which temple you are. So God's teachings would totally be the opposite of the teaching of the philosophers of His day. And the same philosophy that corrupted Corinth 2000 years ago that Paul talks about is engulfing most of our western society in a sea of sexual excess and perversion. It has many forms and it's destroying homes and lives and families.

It's the same sin that God had to deal with down through history. Let me take a positive point here just for a moment and suggest that God created sex and gives it as a blessing to those who enjoy it within the bounds of marriage. Sexual expression not only is a thrilling privilege but an obligation of marriage, but any sexual sin outside of marriage is an absolute abomination to almighty God. That's a fact that our society doesn't want to face, but ladies and gentlemen it's still true.

I'd like for you to turn in your Bible to 1 Corinthians 7. You've been there at chapter 6. Notice what verse 3 through 5 says. Paul gives these very practical words of instruction to the married. If you are married tonight, I want you to listen because most married Christian couples do not know these verses are in their Bible. Look at what it says, and I'm going to read from the amplified text. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights. That is the goodwill the kindness and what is due to her as his wife. And likewise, the wife to the husband. For the wife does not have exclusive authority and control over her own body, but the husband has his rights. Likewise also the husband does not have exclusive authority and control over his body, but the wife has her rights. Do not refuse or deprive or defraud each other of your due marital rights except perhaps by mutual consent for a time so that you may devote yourselves to unhindered prayer. But afterwards, resume marital relations lest Satan tempt you to sin through your lack of restraint of sexual desire. And I'm suggesting that with sexual defraudment comes the temptation to adultery.

Paul says that as married people we have a solemn obligation to our mate and we must recognize when we stood at the alter in marriage, we gave that mate the right to our body. And yet, is it not true as married couples sometimes the first thing that we withhold when there is misunderstanding or there's pressure in the home or there's anger, we withhold that which God calls defraudment. It's a sin. And I have talked with couples on the brink of divorce and I have found that this sin is always at the heart of what leads to a divorce. And you defraud your mate of what God solemnly said is your responsibility, if you defraud them of that, you open up the gangplank for temptation for adultery. Now go with me in your Bible to Proverbs. You say, Pastor, these are very strong verses, aren't they? Yes they are! 

In the middle of a biblical warning against adultery, husbands are instructed in this particular passage. Follow the instructions very closely. Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice with the wife of your youth. As a loving deer and a graceful doe. Let her beasts satisfy you at all times; And always be enraptured with her love. For why should you, my son, be enraptured by an immoral woman, And be embraced in the arms of a seductress? For the ways of man are before the eyes of the Lord, and He ponders all His paths. His own iniquities entrap the wicked man, And he is caught in the cords of his sin. He shall die for lack of instruction, And in the greatness of his folly he shall go astray. The deed, adultery. It's a grievous sin against the sacredness of marriage and against the divine plan of God for husband and wife. It's a sin so deep that in the Old Testament it was punishable by death, and in the New Testament we are warned of God's divine judgment if we fall into this sin. It ruins everything that is beautiful and blessed. It destroys the soul and eventually it damns the participants to hell. That's how serious.

And Jesus said it with His own words. Let's talk about the desire. Verse 28 says of our text, "But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Now when Jesus used the word 'look', He was referring to the continuous process of looking with a goal for an action that follows as the result of gazing with lust. Jesus is speaking of that person who goes to the X-rated movie, who selects a television program known for its sexual orientation, who does any such thing with the expectation and the desire of being sexually and sinfully titillated.

Jesus said you keep looking and ultimately you'll pay a tragic price. He's not speaking of the unexpected and the unavoidable exposure to sexual temptation that surrounds us every day. It's the pausing to look, and then to gaze, and then to allow the gazing to lead to sin. In James chapter 1, look at what James says. He follows this process with such clarity. James 1:12-15 says, Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him. Let no one say when he is tempted, "I am tempted by God"; for God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He Himself tempt anyone. But (and here's the process), But each one is tempted when he is drawn away (that's the gazing) by his own desires and enticed (that's the desire). Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death. That's what Jesus said. You keep looking and you keep lusting and you'll die with that sin. 

Solomon describes the pathway of desire and lust so clearly. In your Bible it's Proverbs 6:20 and this is so clear. I'd like for everyone of you just to turn there with me. Proverbs 6:20 and we're going to read through 7:27.  I'm going to start at verse 20. My son, keep your father's command, And do not forsake the law of your mother. Bind them continually upon your heart; Tie them around your neck. When you roam, they will lead you; When you sleep, they will keep you; And when you awake, they will speak with you. For the commandment is a lamp, And the law a light; Reproofs of instruction are the way of life, To keep you from the evil woman, From the flattering tongue of a seductress. Do not lust after her beauty in your heart, Nor let her allure you with her eyelids. For by means of a harlot A man is reduced to a crust of bread; And an adulteress will prey upon his precious life. Can a man take fire to his bosom, and his clothes not be burned? Can one walk on hot coals, And his feet not be seared? So is he who goes in to his neighbor's wife; Whoever touches her shall not be innocent.

People do not despise a thief If he steals to satisfy himself when he is starving. Yet when he is found, he must restore sevenfold; He may have to give up all the substance of his house. Whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks understanding; He who does so destroys his own soul. Wounds and dishonor he will get, And his reproach will not be wiped away. For jealousy is a husband's fury; Therefore he will not spare in the day of vengeance. He will accept no recompense. Nor will he be appeased though you give many gifts. My son, keep my words, And treasure my commands within you. Keep my commands and live, And my law as the apple of your eye. Bind them on your fingers; Write them on the tablet of your heart. Say to wisdom, "You are my sister," And call understanding your nearest kin, That they may keep you from the immoral woman, From the seductress who flatters with her words. 

For at the window of my house I looked through my lattice, And saw among the simple, I perceived among the youths, A young man devoid of understanding, Passing along the street near her corner; And he took the path to her house In the twilight, in the evening, In the black and dark night. And there a woman met him, With the attire of a harlot, and a crafty heart. She was loud and rebellious, Her feet would not stay at home. At times she was outside, at times in the open square, Lurking at every corner. So she caught him and kissed him; With an impudent face she said to him: "I have peace offerings with me; Today I have paid my vows. So I came out to meet you, Diligently to seek your face, And I have found you. I have spread my bed with tapestry, Colored coverings of Egyptian linen. I have perfumed my bed With myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon. Come, let us take our fill of love until morning; Let us delight ourselves with love. For my husband is not at home; He has gone on a long journey; He has taken a bag of money with him, And will come home on the appointed day." With her enticing speech she caused him to yield, With her flattering lips she seduced him. 

Immediately he went after her, as an ox goes to the slaughter, Or as a fool to the correction of the stocks, Till an arrow stuck his liver. As a bird hastens to the snare, He did not know it would cost his life. Now therefore, listen to me, my children; Pay attention to the words of my mouth: Do not let your heart turn aside to her ways, Do not stray into her paths; For she has cast down many wounded, And all who were slain by her were strong men. Her house is the way to hell, Descending to the chambers of death. That's desire. 

Proverbs 4:25 says, Let your eyes look straight ahead, And your eyelids look right before you. And the thought is, we determine desire by what we focus upon and gaze upon with the intent to sin. Don't look! Eve's looking on the forbidden fruit contrary to the divine commandment was the door of sin that opened her heart and all mankind has paid the price ever since. Ham was cursed for looking upon his father's nakedness. Lot's wife was turned into a pillar of salt for looking back towards Sodom. And over 50,000 men of Beth Shemesh were slain for looking into the ark of the Lord against His revealed will. Thus, it's imperative that we control desire. 

The old writer expressed it. The fallen nature of a man is like unto dry wood which will quickly burn as soon as fire touches it. As mariners at sea set a constant watch to avoid rocks and sand, so should we most wearily avoid every occasion to sin. Self must be denied at all costs. Constant watch kept over the heart and the first rising of corruption therein suppressed. Temptations to sin be shunned. We must at all costs turn away from desire. The deed, the desire. Now how does Jesus say we can have deliverance? 

Notice verse 29 and 30. Back to our text. "If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. "And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. And as I read this I have been amazed that Jesus made the judgment so severe. We either handle the sin or the sin will take us to hell. Those are the words of Jesus. 

When Jesus speaks of our right eye or our right hand, He is referring to those things in our life which are very important and very precious. He is talking, to live with life deprived of an eye or a hand is diminished existence so what Jesus was saying, I don't care how important and how precious whatever it is in your life that causes you to turn down towards the pathway of sin, cut it off. Do something drastic and violent in your life to deliver yourself from the potentials of that sin. Whatever in our walk or our ways of life which exposes the soul to the danger of unholy desires must at all costs be abandoned. How do we in our lives follow these instructions of Christ? 

Let me say some suggestions. I'll put it right down where the rubber meets the road. If there are things that in our life create a temptation, those are the things that at all cost we avoid. A visit to the video store and the temptation of all the advertisement for the X-rated movies. Stay out of the video store then! Turning our television on to things that shouldn't be there. I believe that most families would be better off if they took their television and smashed it to smithereens and ended that avenue of sin right into the home. That's what Jesus said. Get violent! Drastically! Take measures to say so help me God I'm not going to let this thing be around me to tempt me anymore. 

And I think that many of us as we now have seen this internet and all the rest, it's time we smashed some computers and throw them in the garbage. Through those monsters we leave a pathway right into the hearts of our family and right into our own lives. I'm saying folks there are times when temptation. If I've got a temptation in my neighborhood and I can't avoid that thing, it's wise if I get out of that neighborhood and move somewhere else. That's what Jesus is saying. And notice that He leaves the deliverance up to us. He is saying we have the capacity as Christians, we have the presence of the Holy Spirit, and our hearts would be convicted and then we take the initiative to say, look at, I'm cutting that thing out of my life it's not going to be there anymore. I won't have it to tempt me anymore. If your right hand, most precious, or your right eye lead you down the pathway of sin, cut it out. Pluck it from you. 

There are some I have talked with, friendships will lead you down the path of sin, and I've said to people to get rid of that, he's not a friend, they're just dragging your soul down to hell. Oh, but I've known them for 30 years! So what! Say to them, look at, I'm desiring for a life that's holiness and your life is not holy and therefore no longer will we consider ourselves as friends. This ends it, period. That's drastic, but that's what Jesus was saying. We have within our own hearts and our lives under the anointing and the power of the Holy Spirit to deliver ourselves from that which leads to sin. 

Jesus sets forth this in our text today the impossible standards of His kingdom. Because what He's saying is if we hated our brother, we're murderers, if we have lusted in our hearts after another person, we're adulterers, and that includes most of us here tonight. And Jesus does not suggest that the scribes and the Pharisees or anyone else including you and me could deliver themselves from the propensity to sin. As always, the impossibility that He sets forth has a two fold purpose. To make us as men and women despair of our own efforts to righteousness, and to turn our heart to cling to God and to seek for His help and His strength. 

The Lord's remedy for a wicked heart is a new heart, and His answer for our helplessness is His sufficiency and we are promised victory through Jesus Christ where we are more than conquerors through Christ. Paul says, But if the spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His spirit that dwells in you. What's the bottom line of our lesson tonight? Jesus is saying the sin is not the act, it may eventuate to the act, the sin starts in the heart when you begin to lust and desire, and that's where we stop it. And Jesus said we take the initiative, whatever it cost, to take out of our life that which could ultimately take us to hell. We have His strength and His power and His promise. And that is always the amazing. 

You'd say, well if He's saying this is such a terrible sin it will take us to hell, why doesn't He get involved with the deliverance? He does. He implants His power within us, but He expects us to make the decision to avoid at all cost that which will destroy our soul. You know, over the years of ministry I have watched victory over victory. I look across my congregation on Sunday morning and I see people who have struggled with various sins in their lives and they reached out to God and they have confessed their need of God and their insufficiencies in themselves, and I have watched them conquer those sins and today they are victorious in their Christian life. It is amazing. When we take the position so help me God I'm going to have a life that's going to please You and with Your power I'm going to avoid sin. And oh the victories that come when we make that kind of a decision. 

The story is told that during the Civil War a beautiful, highly educated, and popular young woman fell into prostitution. By the time she was 22- years-old she was friendless, broken, and lie dying in the snows in the streets of Cincinnati. She was rushed to the hospital and she died shortly thereafter on a cold winter day in Cincinnati. In her few belongings they found this poem. Let me read it to you. It's entitled The Beautiful Snow.

Oh! The snow, the beautiful snow, Filling the sky and the earth below! Over the housetops, and over the street, Over the heads of the people you meet: Dancing, Flirting, Skimming along. Beautiful snow! It can do nothing wrong. Flying to kiss a fair lady's cheek, Clinging to lips in a frolicsome freak, Beautiful snow from the heavens above, Pure as an angel, gentle as love! Once I was pure as the snow--but I fell! Fell, like the snowflakes, from heaven--to hell; Fell, to be trampled as the filth of the street; Fell, to be scoffed, to be spit on and beat; Pleading, Cursing, Dreading to die, Selling my soul to whoever would buy, Dealing in shame for a morsel of bread, Hating the living and fearing the dead. Merciful God! Have I fallen so low? And yet I was once like the beautiful snow! Once I was fair as the beautiful snow, With an eye like its crystals, and a heart like its glow; Once I was loved for my innocent grace, Flattered and sought for the charms of my face! Father, Mother, Sisters, all, God and myself, I have lost by my fall. The veriest wretch that goes shivering by Will take a wide sweep lest I wander too nigh; For all that is on or about me, I know, There is nothing that's pure but the beautiful snow. How strange it should be that this beautiful snow Should fall on a sinner with nowhere to go! How strange it would be, when the night comes again, If the snow and the ice struck my desperate brain! Fainting, Freezing, Dying alone; Too wicked for prayer, too weak for my moan To be heard in the streets of the crazy town, Gone mad in the joy of the snow coming down; To lie and to die in my terrible woe, With a bed and a shroud of the beautiful snow. Some time later a verse was added by another pen. Helpless and frail as the trampled snow, sinner despair not, Christ stoopeth low, To rescue the soul that is lost in its sin, and raise to life and enjoyment again. Groaning, Bleeding, Dying for thee; The crucified hung made a curse on the tree. But His accents of mercy fall soft on thine ear. Is there mercy for me? Will He heed my prayer? Oh God in the stream that for sinners doth flow, Wash me and I shall be whiter than snow. 

And ladies and gentlemen, this is the glorious news of the gospel. Jesus can make the villous sinner clean. That to me is the reason why year after year, decade after decade, I with joy preach the gospel of Christ because I know that I preach to sinners, all of us are sinners, Jesus said we're all murderers. We're all adulterers. We all desperately need His forgiveness and the glorious promise is this, that when we come to Him, He forgives. And I've watched lives that have been besmirched and riddled with sin absolutely dramatically changed and made new creatures in Christ Jesus. And the old passes away and God makes us new creations through the power of Jesus Christ. And so this evening it's a fact, Jesus said according to God's divine righteousness not a one of us has anything to brag about, we're murderers and we're adulterers. But He's given to us His precious Holy Spirit to be more than conquerors and He's given to us His life at Calvary to forgive us and let the past be forever the past, totally forgiven. Amen?

Let's bow our heads, shall we? Lord Jesus, You set the standards of righteousness exceedingly high. You said that if we sin in our heart with our minds and we have evil motives, we're just as guilty as that one who commits the act in his physical body. So none of us got left out tonight, Lord Jesus, all of us need Your grace. All of us need Your forgiveness, and all of us need Your precious Holy Spirit so that we from now on make those decisions that honor You and bring praise to Your name. Please help us. With every head bowed, if you're here this evening and these truths come very close to your own heart and life, I do not want in any way the message to be negative. Jesus loves you. He loves me. All you have to do is say, Lord Jesus, I want the past forever to be in the past. I want Your precious blood to cleanse me and I've learned this evening that You can give me the power that helps me to overcome, and I want that power tonight. You can leave the sanctuary and say thank God I'm forgiven and the past is in the past, and I have the promise of a victorious life in the future. Amen. Thank you Lord Jesus. Thank you for Your promises. And I pray that if there is anyone here this evening who desperately calls out to You for forgiveness, touch their hearts with Your grace and Your peace and the knowledge of Your cleansing, and may from this moment on we live our lives in holiness. Thank you Jesus, and everyone said. Amen. God bless you folks. God bless you. God bless you.